Tag Archive | "struggle"

48 Laws of Power: Law 24: Play the Perfect Courtier

 48 Laws of Power: Law 24: Play the Perfect Courtier

The perfect courtier thrives in a world where everything revolves around power and political dexterity. he has mastered the art of indirection; he flatters, yields to superiors, and asserts power over others in the most oblique and graceful manner. Learn and apply the laws of courtier-ship and there will be no limit to how far you can rise in the court.

In the past the court garnered around the ruler, and had many functions: Besides keeping the ruler amused, it was a way to solidify the hierarchy of royalty, nobility, and the upper classes, and to keep the nobility both subordinate and close to the ruler, so that he could keep an eye on them. the court serves power in many ways, but most of all it glorifies the ruler, providing him with a microcosmic world that must struggle to please him.

16 Successful Courtier Plays

1. They please but are not pleasing too much.2. Obeying but somehow distinguishing himself from the other courtiers.3. never distinguishing himself so far as to make the ruler insecure.4. Have mastered the science of manipulating people. 5. They make the king feel more kingly; 6. They make every-one else fear their power. 7. They are magicians of appearance, knowing that most things at court are judged by how they seem. 8. They are gracious and polite. 9. Their aggression is veiled and indirect. 10. Masters of the word, they never say more than necessary.11. They get the most out of a compliment or hidden insult. 12. They are magnets of pleasure— People want to be around them because they know how to please. 13. They neither fawn nor humiliate themselves. 14. They are wizards in the accumulation of influence 15. They become the king’s favorites, enjoying the benefits of that position. 16. They often end up more powerful than the ruler.

The royal court may have more or less disappeared, or at least lost its power, but courts and courtiers still exist because power still exists. the laws that govern court politics are as timeless as the laws of power. There is much to be learned, then, from great courtiers past and present.

The 15 Laws of Court Politics

1. Avoid Ostentation. it is never prudent to prattle on about yourself or call too much attention to your actions. the more you talk about your deeds the more suspicion you cause. you also stir up enough envy among your peers to induce treachery and backstabbing.

2. Practice Nonchalance. never seem to be working too hard. Your talent must appear to flow naturally, with an ease that makes people take you for a genius rather than a workaholic. it is better for them to marvel at how gracefully you have achieved your accomplishment than to wonder why it took so much work.

3. Be Frugal with Flattery. it may seem that your superiors cannot get enough flattery, but too much of even a good thing loses its value. it also stirs up suspicion among your peers. Learn to flatter indirectly—by down-playing your own contribution, for example, to make your master look better.

4. Arrange to Be Noticed. There is a paradox: you cannot display yourself too brazenly, yet you must also get yourself noticed. this task requires much art. it is often initially a matter of being seen, in the literal sense. Pay attention to your physical appearance, then, and find a way to create a distinctive—a subtly distinctive—style and image.

5. Alter Your Style and Language according to the Person you Are Dealing With. the pseudo-belief in equality—the idea that talking and acting the same way with everyone, no matter what their rank, makes you somehow a paragon of civilization—is a terrible mistake. those below you will take it as a form of condescension, which it is, and those above you will be offended, although they may not admit it. you must change your style and your way of speaking to suit each person. this is not lying, it is acting, and acting is an art, not a gift from God. Learn the art.

6. never Be the Bearer of bad News. the king kills the messenger who brings bad news: this is a cliché but there is truth to it. you must struggle and if necessary lie and cheat to be sure that the lot of the bearer of bad news falls on a colleague, never on you. Bring only good news and your approach will gladden your master.

7. never Affect Friendliness and Intimacy with Your Master. he does not want a friend for a subordinate, he wants a subordinate. never approach him in an easy, friendly way, or act as if you are on the best of terms—that is his prerogative. If he chooses to deal with you on this level, assume a wary chumminess. otherwise err in the opposite direction, and make the distance between you clear.

8. never Criticize those Above you Directly. this may seem obvious, but there are often times when some sort of criticism is necessary—to say nothing, or to give no advice, would open you to risks of another sort. you must learn, however, to couch your advice and criticism as indirectly and as politely as possible. Think twice, or three times, before deciding you have made them sufficiently circuitous. Err on the side of subtlety and gentleness.

9. Be Frugal in Asking those Above you for Favors. nothing irritates a master more than having to reject someone’s request. it stirs up guilt and resentment. ask for favors as rarely as possible, and know when to stop. Rather than making yourself the supplicant, it is always better to earn your favors, so that the ruler bestows them willingly. most important: do not ask for favors on another person’s behalf, least of all a friend’s.

10. never Joke About Appearances or Taste. A lively wit and a humorous disposition are essential qualities for a good courtier, and there are times when vulgarity is appropriate and engaging. but avoid any kind of joke about appearance or taste, two highly sensitive areas, especially with those above you. do not even try it when you are away from them. you will dig your own grave.

11. do not Be the Court Cynic. Express admiration for the good work of others. If you constantly criticize your equals or subordinates some of that criticism will rub off on you, hovering over you like a gray cloud wherever you go. People will groan at each new cynical comment, and you will irritate them. by expressing modest admiration for other people’s achievements, you paradoxically call attention to your own.

12. Be Self-observant. the mirror is a miraculous invention; without it you would commit great sins against beauty and decorum. you must be the mirror, training your mind to try to see yourself as others see you. Are you acting too obsequious? Are you trying too hard to please? do you seem desperate for attention, giving the impression that you are on the decline? Be observant about yourself and you will avoid a mountain of blunders.

13. Master Your Emotions. as an actor in a great play, you must learn to cry and laugh on command and when it is appropriate. you must be the master of your own face. Call it lying if you like; but if you prefer to not play the game and to always be honest and upfront. do not complain when others call you obnoxious and arrogant.

14. Fit the Spirit of the Times. A slight affectation of a past era can be charming, as long as you choose a period at least twenty years back; wearing the fashions of ten years ago is ludicrous, unless you enjoy the role of court jester. Your spirit and way of thinking must keep up with the times, even if the times offend your sensibilities. you are best off at least being able to mimic the spirit of the times.

15. Be a Source of Pleasure. this is critical. it is an obvious law of human nature that we will flee what is unpleasant and distasteful, while charm and the promise of delight will draw us like moths to a flame. make yourself the flame and you will rise to the top. not everyone can play the role of favorite, for not everyone is blessed with charm and wit. but we can all control our unpleasant qualities and obscure them when necessary.

Courtiers are like magicians: They deceptively play with appearances, only letting those around them see what they want them to see. With so much deception and manipulation afoot, it is essential to keep people from seeing your tricks and glimpsing your sleight of hand.

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Book Review – The Last Lecture

 Book Review   The Last Lecture

Randy Pausch made a lecture entitled the Last Lecture. It was also the title of his best-selling book. he passed away from pancreatic cancer back in July 2008.

His Last Lecture was a big hit in the web especially in You Tube. he was also featured in the Oprah Winfrey Show before he passed away. the book was written with short but memorable chapters.

This book is not about how he died. this book is not even about his struggle with cancer. It is about how he dreamed when he was a kid. It is about how he continued to dream as an adult even though he had an incurable cancer. Randy Pausch was a professor in Computer Science at Carnegie Mellon University. because he was in a field that is usually noted for its logic, Randy Pausch comes across more of a dreamer. his child-like enthusiasm permeates the book. All of us have childhood dreams (whether we care to admit it or not). By the time we become adults, we seem to set into reality. we give up on those childhood dreams because we dreamed or thought about them when we were young and dumb.

This is what makes the book enticing. those dreams do matter. When Randy Pausch was faced with pancreatic cancer which is usually fatal, he thought and reverted back to those childhood dreams. some of those dreams include playing football for the Pittsburgh Steelers, meeting William Shatner (first noted for his Star Trek role), and many other trivial dreams. Although he may not have achieved those dreams the way he first thought about them, he was able to fulfill those dreams in such a way that it touches other lives in a positive way.

The great thing about those childhood dreams was that it can make every facet of our lives better. Most people would look at life to be tolerable rather than to be truly lived. It is not how long you live that counts; it is how much life you live in those years that matter.

Randy Pausch left behind his wife and three kids. he also left a lasting legacy with this book, the Last Lecture. It is a book that reminds us that we should live our lives- not just survive. It is an old saying to make the most out of your life. It is especially applicable when someone can write about it in such a way to remind us that our childhood dreams are worth achieving.

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Run Your Own Talent Agency – How to Start a Talent Agency

 Run Your Own Talent Agency   How to Start a Talent Agency

Looking to run your own talent agency? It’s not very difficult, and really can just be boiled down to two major activities – finding the talent, and then finding work for the talent you now represent. There’s a lot of talent out there in today’s world who are just dying to be discovered. When you run your own talent agency, you develop an eye for finding these talented people almost anywhere.

For example, how about that cool band you heard play all that awesome music at that bar you and your friends went to that weekend? are they well represented? Or even those talented musicians who struggle to put a CD together and try to put it out into public reach by posting it up online on MySpace, Facebook or YouTube? these people need representation.

There are also those up-and-coming comedians or singers we might find performing on open mic nights at some of the clubs in your community who show bright promise, but aren’t yet properly represented. This is a great place to scout for talent when you run your own talent agency. what about that surprisingly talented illusionist performing magic tricks at your sister’s graduation party? like many of us out there, you may even know one or two people looking to break into the modeling field, or see some of them trying to get discovered at an auto show, or trade shows.

Finding work for these talented people when you run your own talent agency can be as simple as the resources are plentiful. Many bars and clubs are looking for talented acts such as rock bands, illusionists and comedians. Models can be placed in magazine ads, catalogs, clothing store ads or showroom exhibitions. Actors can be placed in TV commercials, voice-over jobs, animated voice acting gigs, TV shows, and the list goes on – care to learn more?

Posted in A Sister's PromiseComments (0)

Emily Spivey Knows About Being ‘Up All Night’

 Emily Spivey Knows About Being Up All Night

When babies crop up on sitcoms, they hardly ever act like real babies. They’re more like pets that cause problems only when it’s convenient for the story line. Otherwise they stare placidly at the camera and sleep through the night. But on the new show Up All Night, a baby turns the lives of a mid-30s couple (played by Christina Applegate and Will Arnett) upside down. their extended adolescence comes to an abrupt halt when they have to balance work and a baby. Maya Rudolph rounds out the cast as Applegate’s child-free, talk show host boss.

Balancing work and family is a struggle writer Emily Spivey is very familiar with. The former Saturday Night Live scribe based Up All Night on her own experience returning to work after the birth of her now 2-year-old son. This is her first time running a show. Up All Night debuts September 14th. I talked to Spivey about babies, work, and trying to make it all fit together.

FORBES: what made you decide to do a show about the real struggles of parenting?

EMILY SPIVEY:I based it on my experience having my son two years ago and having to go back to work at Saturday Night Live. There was a huge gap between the sort of rock and roll job I had where I was up all night and my son who was getting up at six in the morning. I wanted to capture those extremes and do a show about someone who waited such a long time to have a baby. her career was her baby. I felt like no one had really honestly told that story.

Was it a hard sell?

No, I think NBC was looking for a modern mom show. they were supportive and excited about it from the beginning because it was an area they wanted to tackle.

This is very different portrayal of life with a baby than we’ve seen in previous sitcoms.

I wanted to do a show where the parents acknowledge that having a baby is wonderful but it also kind of sucks and it’s kind of hard. There’s a lot of bad that comes with all of the good and there’s a lot of comedy to be mined from showing a couple that’s had an extended adolescence and then decided to have a baby.

How do you balance work and family?

Luckily, I have the best husband in the world so that helps. I’ve had to let myself off the hook a little and know that you can’t be perfect. you can only do the best you can and set a good example for your kid. My son isn’t going to hate me because I work some late hours. I had to quit feeling guilty. This is what I do and I love him so much and he knows that. It’s still hard. every day is a new struggle and I don’t know if I’ve officially tackled it.

You were able to get some great actors for the show.

We were really excited when Christina became interested because she was being courted by a lot of different shows so it was a huge compliment to us. I went and sat with her and we realized she was going through exactly what the show was about. She had just had her daughter and she was experiencing going back to work for the first time.  we started talking back and forth and it was a story she was interested in telling. Maya, I’ve known her for like 2000 years. We’d been wanting to work together. I’d also known Will and [his wife Amy Poehler] so it was like a family.

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